Confessions of a Neglected Wife

Learning to live in a dead bedroom

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  • Acceptance

    I’ve now reached a point where I can acknowledge that I am not part of the problem. I’ve done everything I can to communicate and compromise. I’ve bent so far I nearly broke myself. Whether or not our bedroom remains dead is completely in his hands. I’m shifting my focus from us to me. I’ve… Read more

  • Bargaining

    Last year (about four years after all of this started), I hit a point where I simply couldn’t ignore my needs anymore. This caused three things to happen in quick succession. First, I started having open, honest conversations with my partner about how the lack of intimacy was affecting me. I tried to find a… Read more

  • Quite the opposite

    Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time? I find as I get older, I’m learning to focus on what really makes me feel like my true self, and a big part of that has been my hobbies. I have three and they each serve me in different ways.… Read more

  • Depression

    I hit a point where I felt completely stuck. I loved him. Every other aspect of our relationship was great. But I was literally so touch-starved it hurt. I felt more undesirable and unwanted than I ever had in my life. Every day, I was constantly on the verge of tears. Every night, I would… Read more

  • Anger

    As it became clear that my partner was no longer making an effort to fix our dead bedroom, the hurt and resentment inside of me built up until it started causing arguments between us. They generally weren’t related to sex or intimacy; usually, it was about housework or some other small issue. All of the… Read more

  • My Marriage

    Do you need a break? From what? It’s exhausting trying to turn this ship around by myself when we’re speeding towards a rocky cliff… Read more

  • Denial

    When my bedroom first died, I thought it would get better on its own. I assumed the physical side effects my partner was experiencing would fade over time and things would go back to normal. I kept trying to initiate intimacy, assuming that he was just self-conscious and embarrassed. I wanted to show him that… Read more

  • What the heck are we doing here??

    There’s plenty of material out there about dead bedrooms and how to “fix” them, so why am I here? Why do I feel the need to write this blog? The answer to that is simple… The majority of material out there is directed towards men who are frustrated because their wives don’t want sex as… Read more