Last year (about four years after all of this started), I hit a point where I simply couldn’t ignore my needs anymore. This caused three things to happen in quick succession.

First, I started having open, honest conversations with my partner about how the lack of intimacy was affecting me. I tried to find a solution he would be comfortable with. Sounds good, right? Initially, I thought it was going to help. He agreed to talk to his doctor about the issue again, got some tests done, made some adjustments to his meds and his lifestyle. He started to see a slight improvement and acted like everything was fixed (which it definitely wasn’t), refusing to talk to his doctor again about next steps.

Second, I invested in an impressive collection of toys and started writing erotic fiction as an outlet…if he wasn’t going to give me release, I’d get it myself. I convinced myself that this would satisfy my needs and I could be happy with him without the need for intimacy. (Spoiler…I was wrong.)